Sunday, June 08, 2008

Roxie Endorses. . .the ABBA Fan!

(Photo Credit: Ricky Carioti, Washington Post; Hillary Clinton and supporters at the National Building Museum, 6/7/08)

(Please Note: The photo above has no particular relevance to this post. We found it, liked it, and wanted to pass it along before we forgot about it.)

Dear Senator Clinton,

I know you told us yesterday that we should throw our support to your erstwhile opponent in the primary race, Senator Barack Obama, on account of it's really important to elect a Democratic president this year to accomplish all that fabulous stuff that you and we really want to see happen -- you know, achieving universal (or maybe universal-lite, which is what your opponent has proposed) health care, ending the war in Iraq, expanding economic opportunity, protecting the environment, restoring America's standing in the world. We agree with you that those goals are like super-duper crucial, and we spent the whole weekend licking our political wounds and reflecting on your call to us to work as hard for him as we had hoped and planned to work for you.

We were thinking about it, really, in between glasses of wine and steaks on the grill and trips to the furniture store to unload the disposable income we had been planning to invest in your campaign. We were slowly coming around to the idea that in this election we might be the kind of voters who would hold our noses and pull the lever (or punch the card) for the lesser of two evils, especially if Lesser* had the wisdom to put you on the ticket as his choice for vice-president. We were getting there, Senator Clinton, I swear, though Goose was still pretty grouchy about the whole damn primary mess, but then Moose was out doing some late Sunday night internets-trolling and stumbled (by way of TalkLeft) across this weird bit of news about
John Fricking McCain being a goldurned ABBA fan,
and I'm afraid that just threw a monkey wrench into the whole works. We immediately dispatched a team to Ishmael's, the bar around the corner from Roxie's World's corporate headquarters, to get Mark Twain and the whole political division back into the office to consider how we should respond to this astonishing development. (They'd been in the bar for several days, drowning their sorrows over your loss.) We knew McCain intended to make a play for your supporters and had already alerted our legions of loyal readers to his nefarious plans, but we had no idea that the senior (and we do mean senior) senator from Arizona would be so cunning, so resourceful, so diabolical in his efforts to lure disappointed Clintonistas into the Republican fold.

We're terribly sorry, Senator Clinton, but (knowing me, knowing you) there is really nothing we can do. McCain has found an iron-clad way to appeal to three of Roxie's World's major, if heavily overlapping, demographic groups: women, disco fans, and the group formerly known as Pretty Boys for Hillary. How can we resist a war hero who pumps himself up for campaign speeches by listening to ABBA's immortal "Take A Chance on Me?"

McCain's campaign blog is even pushing the story, with a brazen appeal to "disaffected Hillary supporters." Please try to understand, Chiquitita, that we had every intention of doing what you implored us to do yesterday. You have, after all, been a total Super Trouper throughout this campaign, and you are and ever shall be top dog and Dancing Queen of our hearts here in Roxie's World. And we really, really get that there are vital issues at stake in this election and that a lot of people will be like totally screwed if Republicans have control of a single branch -- heck, of a single twig -- of government. But, you know, Hill, now that you've been kicked in the teeth in this dirty little game called politics, perhaps you'll understand that we have to follow the guy who shares our twisted musical taste, because, you know, without a song or a dance what are we? Don't worry about the war or health care or the Supreme Court or any of that other bumming stuff. McCain may be an old codger who sold his soul to the re-(s)election of George W. Bush, but he gets that the night is young and the music's high.

Everything will be fine, Hillary, as long as we can dance. Take my hand, Hillary. The sky is blue, why should you be, too? Let the ABBA fan rule the world!

*Lesser shall henceforth be the name by which Senator Obama is known in Roxie's World. We've had fun calling him the Precious and His Hopeness, but we borrowed those terms from, respectively, the brilliant Anglachel and the only sporadically insightful from a conservative perspective David Brooks. Our preference is always for names we make up all by ourselves, and we think we're the first ones to slap this label on the presumptive Democratic nominee. He stands elected to that term in these precincts, so that is that.

Note to Readers: All comments on this post must contain at least one ABBA reference. Them's Teh Rulz of the game, kids, even if we don't know what the name of the game is. (Get it?) Play on.


  1. Fernando says McCain is not the only option.Don't be a marionette! You could take a chance on Green.

  2. Ah Rox, you are too much. OK. . .To the Pudd'nhead Party, I sing "I've been cheated by you since I don't know when / So I made up my mind, it must come to an end." For 36 years (with the very occasional exception), I've been voting for the "Lesser" of two problematic choices and where has it gotten me? Consider these:

    1) the ERA is still *not* passed, though the Pudd'nheads promised in the early 1970s that they would not forget about it and that it would be part of our constitution by now; I can find no comment about the ERA in Lesser's stated priorities;

    2) Roe has been effectively eviscerated by laws that rob the decision of its spirit while leaving the letter of the law in place (perhaps that's where the Pudd'nheads learned to formulate such tortured decisions as that rendered by the DNC on May 31); the Pudd'nheads have done nothing to stop this evisceration, though they always torture us with "what about the Supreme Court" in an attempt to coerce our votes for one Lesser after another; I can find no statement such as that on HRC's site about affordable birth control on either of the boys' sites but just generalities about pro choice on Lesser's and generalities about pro life on Dancing King's;

    3) Wealth has continued to be distributed up to the top 1% in these United States and the Pudd'nheads have done nothing to stop that trend;

    4) the Environment is clearly deteriorating and though Lesser promised to heal the planet last Tuesday evening, his plan is almost identical to Dancing King's (though it is more expensive, primarily because of its indebtedness to Big Coal);

    5) though the Pudd'nheads are always telling us that they are more gay-friendly, the truth is that while Lesser and Dancing King both oppose a constitutional amendment to ban same-sex marriage, both also oppose calling a union such as that between Moose and myself marriage and neither is as specific in advocating for our union as is HRC; also, I can find no evidence that Lesser has asked Rev. Meeks, one of his most prominent delegates to the Convention this year, to apologize for thwarting passage of a gay-rights bill in the Illinois legislature and for continuing to deliver homophobic screeds (some of them about gays' abominable "recruiting"); a 2007 newsletter from the Southern Poverty Law Center named Rev. Meeks one of the "10 leading black religious voices in the anti-gay movement." Mmm.

    I could go on, but I'll stop. If Lesser wants my vote, then he must stop blathering meaningless things about healing the planet (sorry, I've been listening to such talk for 36 years) and propose something specific that addresses real problems. He could start by promising to reactivate the ERA and amend our constitution as it was amended in an attempt to assure equal opportunities for those discriminated against because of race. He could seal the deal by promising to nominate and support women for at least 50% of ALL of his presidential appointments. Finland did it several decades ago, and they are doing just fine, thank you very much. Why do I ask for this? Because Lesser benefited from sexism and knew it and didn't once speak up about the sexist taunts put forward by some of his supporters and by the media. Such silence seems odd from someone who claims to be leading us to a new unity. Unity cannot be commanded, especially not in the "sit down and shut up and join the party" scolds many pro-HRC voters are getting from so many of Lesser's supporters.

    Such proposals would be REAL CHANGE that would give me REAL HOPE. And such proposals might just turn me into a Dancing Queen.

  3. There are moments when we think we're going crazy here in Roxie's World, Red Queen, but fear not -- We're incapable of voting Republican or Green for that matter, since we blame Nader for Bush in 2000. Anyway, you know it's going to be a fun day when you wake up to find that Goose, devoted rocker that she is, has been forced to tuck an ABBA ref into her latest passionate denunciation of the Pudd'nheads. Well done, Goose! Ah, breakin' up is never easy, I know, but at least she's managing the break-up by my rulz! ;-)

  4. Mamma Mia Roxie.

    There's a fire withing my soul.... Yes I've been broken hearted, but I just can't swing over to vote for someone who is openly anti-choice.

    and Goose... I hear you. At Waterloo, Napoleon did surrender. And that history book on the shelf is always repeating itself. It is unforgivable that the Puddin'heads have abandoned the ERA and protecting Roe.

    And I know McCain wishes that even though I work all night, I work all day to pay the bills I have to pay... that in my dreams I'd have a plan if I got me a wealthy man, I wouldn't have to work at all, I'd fool around and have a ball. But this dancing queen is not as stupid as he looks. IT will take a lot more than claiming to love ABBA to get me to vote so deeply against my own interests.

    After all... who doesn't love ABBA!?!

    I will listen to the very wise Hillary (Thank you for the music Hill... for giving it to me) and will get on the train for the Lesser... even though I am still so deeply buried in the baggage car of said train that I have to hold my nose to avoid all the stink.

    "One of Us"

  5. Ah, I knew one of the Pretty Boys would blow Les Girls out of the water on this game, the name of which is, um, wait, what IS the name of the game? Anyway, y'all are starting to make me feel under attack. . .defenses breaking, with all these suggestions that we were serious about endorsing McCain. No, no, no, kids! Get those irony meters checked. It was a JOKE. Nobody here in Roxie's World is voting for McCain, though we reckon a significant number of Clintonistas will if the Lesser doesn't do some serious outreach that goes beyond, "You and your uterus should be really scared about the prospect of another Republican president." We've heard that one a million times, fellas, and we're not falling for it. How can I resist you? Just watch.

  6. Not to worry Roxie my sweet. My irony meter is in full operational order. I was merely responding to McCain's lame attempt to lure with with ABBA.


  7. I hear the doorbell ring and suddenly the panic takes me....

    Who are these visitors?

    Help me....

    Yep, I too am leery of the Obama campaign plying their political literature on my door step.

    Now I hear them moving, muffled noises, coming through the door I feel I'm crackin' up.

    Voices growing louder, irritation building and I'm close to fainting, crackin' up.

    They must know by now I'm in here, trembling, and there's no escaping now, I'm crackin' up.

    Thanks Roxie for the most original use of ABBA lyrics and song titles in a blogger post I've ever seen.

    I just can't vote for Obama. The Wall Street Journal reiterated what I've been discussing with my friends the last couple weeks. We know absolutely nothing about him, he has the most left-leaning voting record in the Senate, and he flip flops on his values and character. At one moment he's supporting Rev wright, disavowing what he says but supporting him as a person, the next he disavows the church and Rev Wright. You either stand by your professed friends--admirable, or you dump them--dishonorable. His association with Farakhan is intolerable, and yet, nobody really challenged him on anything.

    I am not a racist by any standard, but Geraldine Ferraro was exactly right and she should have been applauded. If Obama were not black, he wouldn't be in the position that he is now. His nomination as the Democratic Nominee is just as racist as anything slave owners during colonial times ever did. If he were white, based on his "qualifications", he never would have gotten out of New Hampshire or Iowa because his track record is clearly deficient.

    Only if he asks Hillary to be his running mate and we have a chance to get "Two for the Price of One" will I vote on Obama. Otherwise, it's McCain--afterall, McCain will have ABBA playing in the White House, and can there be any better scenario for an ABBA reunion other than the President of the United States asking them to join him at his innaugeration and asking them to perform Take A Chance On Me?


  8. Welcome to Roxie's World, Matthew, and thanks for the kind words about my clever use of ABBA lyrics. I must say your own contribution to the game of which we do not know the name is mighty impressive. You're a bit of a Super Trouper, too, I see.

    Let's hope that Hillary gets the veep spot -- or is offered it and turns it down because she's decided to move to Europe to start a bad but fabulously successful disco group of her very own. We don't want to encourage movement toward McCain, even if it offers the appealing prospect of an ABBA reunion on PA Ave. Four more years of Republican rule, and the world would be sending out an SOS, don't you think?

  9. Thank you for the music, Roxie! I've been painting and packing all night, so this provided a welcome diversion. That's the name of the game . . . of moving.

  10. Anonymous10:48 AM EDT

    It is disturbing to me that both Roxie and her moms regularly engage critically with blog commenters (including one who is apparently a student in the department) but had no response to this whopper: "[Obama's] nomination as the Democratic Nominee is just as racist as anything slave owners during colonial times ever did." Not to mention Matthew's reference to "most left-leaning voting record in the senate" as a negative for Obama. For people (and a dog) who assail the Democratic nominee largely based on the politics and personalities of some of his vocal supporters, you have awfully lax standards about what you'll invite into your own tent.

  11. Anonymous -- Lax standards? Oh, you're really much too kind. NO standards is more like it! We don't "invite" anyone, but we welcome pretty much everyone into the tent of Roxie's World, including those who choose not to identify themselves and who ignore important rules such as all comments on this post must contain at least one ABBA reference. That said, you are probably right that we should have engaged with Matthew's whopper about slave owners, but this was a puff post that we tossed up as part of our grieving process. As we shift into general election mode, we will focus less on Lesser's obnoxious supporters and more on the substance (sic) of his campaign.

    Stay tuned -- or, if you have such contempt for what we're doing, don't. All those smart blogs with super-high standards are just a click away. If you feel you "have to go" (requisite ABBA allusion), we will understand, though we hope, of course, that you'll come back and take on anything you care to take on. Peace out.

  12. Anonymous,

    Goose here. Your objections sound a bit as if there will be "No more carefree laughter" but surely we won't settle for misunderstanding and "Silence ever after." "Knowing me, knowing you" there is in fact something, not nothing "we can do." In this case, clarify.

    Methinks that in your whopper charge you misread what Matthew said or meant to say (but perhaps I'm wrong; he'll have to answer for himself). Anyway, I, Goose, thought that Matthew was saying that the Democratic Party was being condescending, hence racist, by not subjecting Senator Obama to the same levels and details of scrutiny that all its other candidates were subjected to. And in this week alone, we've started to see the price the Pudd'nheads may pay for that lack of scrutiny, which in my view demeaned Obama in the guise of adulation. This week most of the attention (re: problems emerging from lack of scrutiny) went to Daddy War Bucks Johnson having to step aside because he's implicated in the very practices that Obama condemns, but the real news, though underreported, is Obama's appointment of a Milton Friedman-styled economist as his top economic adviser, an appointment that surely startles many of his left-leaning supporters.

    As for the "most liberal voting record in the Senate" business, I assume that you know, Anonymous, that though the National Journal said that it's not quite true. For example, in 2007 Obama voted to confirm Judge Thomas Griffith even though Leahy made clear (and vehemently so) that his nomination should be opposed because he had practiced law without a license and has consistently (and nastily) opposed Title IX. Mmm. . .that's just one example (we could discuss Obama voting for General Casey who wants to extend the Iraq war while Clinton voted against him), but it's one of several that put the lie to the National Journal's claim. Saying something IS doesn't make it SO. So. . .since I find Obama to be very middle of the road (i.e., far from liberal), and find his whole business about not accepting funds from PACs a clever chimera (he's not throwing lobbyists out of the Convention and his campaign manager runs a lobbying firm and PACs only account for 7% of contributions), I find comments that tout him or condemn him for being so a little uninformed.

    I'll close by saying that I have by no means responded to all posts here, including those by the student to whom you point. Whether I respond has to do with many things, ranging from whether I think I've responded too much to what my schedule allows to whether someone appears to be directing a comment toward me.

    So, knowing me, knowing you, there is in fact something we can do! I hope this clarifies where I'm coming from anyway. . . .

  13. Anonymous3:21 PM EDT

    Thank You For The Music. Two For The Price Of One!

    If someone posted something on my blog that contained something so offensive, I would have responded to it, even if I were otherwise pleased to have a new reader. Goose, you do an admirable job of trying to explain away Matthew's comment, but I think your own literature professor would probably tell you that your generous reading is less convincing because it fails to account for "just as racist as anything slave owners during colonial times ever did." I doubt even Clarence Thomas would describe "the soft bigotry of low expectations" as equivalent to, say, daily beatings and malnourishment, rape, and slavery itself.

    I also did not tout Sen. Obama's record as the most left-leaning in the senate. I pointed out that this is supposedly a liberal blog, where having such a record would presumably be a good thing. Why not say so to Matthew? "Matthew, we sure do wish Obama had the most left-leaning record in the senate as you suggest, but unfortunately he doesn't. . ."

    Your responses leave me under the impression that the real test of what kinds of posts will face criticism here is not whether the author is polite or impolite, ABBA-quoting or not, simpatico or hostile, but rather whether you perceieve him as an Obama apologist. This is not politics (or basketball, for that matter); it's religiosity.


    I read about Roxie's health troubles and I send along prayers. I know you are a Super Trouper.

  14. Thanks for the kind words about my health, Anon. I'm feeling better today, and we are hopeful that this isn't a return of the dreaded pancreatitis.

    I think we've gone as far as we can go with this thread about Matthew's comment. You seem not to have noticed that in my previous reply I acknowledged I probably should have called him out for the specious analogy to slavery. I think you are being unfair to make such broad generalizations about what kind of comments get criticized in Roxie's World. You make your claim about our supposed "religiosity" on the basis of one non-response to one comment from someone who had never shown up here before (and seems not to have returned since). It also doesn't seem right to compare Matthew, a newcomer and complete stranger to us, to the student with whom the moms have engaged in a series of lively and sometimes contentious exchanges. Eitan, to his credit, has come out into the open and been willing to go toe-to-toe with adults who have a degree of authority over him in the real world. That takes guts, and we admire him for it, even when we take issue with his positions. If Matthew were to return and make a habit of leaving troubling comments, you can rest assured the hall monitors around here would let him know we neither endorse nor appreciate such views.

    The comment section here has changed significantly as our audience has grown and as the primary race has created divisions among longtime friends and allies. We are relieved that, unlike many other pro-Hillary blogs, we haven't been besieged by trolls, but we are still adjusting to the challenges of managing a bigger, busier Roxie's World. Forgive us if we aren't always perfect in the job, but even a Super Trouper makes a mistake every now and then.


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