Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Smoothie/Ruby Tuesday

(Photo Credit: Moose, 7/19/11)

Moose couldn't take it anymore. Over the past couple of weeks, she's been subjected to a barrage of ads for McDonald's new mango-pineapple Real Fruit Smoothie. The commercials are peppy and fun and summery, and the fruit is so luscious and juicy-looking that Moose's mouth would water every time she saw the ad. Damn, she'd think to herself, I want me a mango-pineapple smoothie! Finally, instead of driving to McDonald's, which she has not done in several decades, she ordered Goose to pick up a mango or two on a recent trip to the grocery store. This morning, she decided today would be the day she made her very first smoothie.

Yep, kids, this is what passes for culinary adventure as the household moves forward on the effort to maintain Moose 2.0: A Considerably Less Broad Broad Than She Used to Be. You want high-fat food porn? Photos of risotto swimming tantalizingly in a sea of butter and white wine? Recipes that call for half a pound of ricotta without offering the nutri-Nazi qualifier part-skim? Then head on over to our pal Comrade PhysioProf, whose latest nom de plume is the apt Comradde RisottoProffe. He'll keep you fat and happy or permit you to indulge in some safe full-fat voyeurism if that is what floats your boat.

Here in Roxie's World, however, the name of the game is keeping the points low and the satisfaction high, which means, ladies and non-ladies, that it's time to start your blenders!

Moose did some surfing around the intertoobz looking for a smoothie recipe, just enough to realize that you don't really need a recipe. Here's what she ended up doing, and the results were deelish:

Moose's Mango-Pineapple Smoothie:

1. Peel and chop a mango. Toss into blender.
2. Chop a nice thick slice of pineapple. Toss into blender.
3. Slice a banana. Toss into blender.
4. Dump 3/4 cup of non-fat vanilla yogurt into blender. (We've been enjoying Brown Cow yogurt lately. Just sayin'.)
5. Dump about a cup of ice into blender.
6. Put lid on blender, press "smoothie" button, and pulverize the heck out of that healthy $hit.
7. Pour into a clear glass, photograph for posterity, and present to skeptical partner, who, a few minutes later, will squeal happily, "I feel like Popeye eating his spinach!"

So, what's (not) cooking in your blenders, nutri-Nerds? Moose brought some of the season's first peaches home from the market on Sunday, so we're betting tomorrow's frothy mix will include a fuzzy orb or two. What do you do to sex up your smoothies? Are there any fans of flaxseed out there? Debauchees of dates? We're new to this liquid breakfast business, so we are eager to hear your thoughts.

Meantime, since it's Tuesday, here's a little glimpse of Ruby, whose been spending quite a bit of time curled up with a new toy the Shy One brought for her the other evening. It's a pheasant, and Ms. Ruby has been obsessive in her devotion, spending long hours in her crate and refusing to let anyone else get near the adored stuffed critter. She loves it so much she hasn't even disemboweled it to get at its squeaker yet:

(Photo Credit: Moose, 7/19/11)

Ruby Tuesdays are about songs, so here's one from Lucinda Williams, who the Moms will be seeing tonight at Wolf Trap. Technically, it's not a Ruby song, since that name is never uttered, but it's a beautiful song about how all dog's children are born to be loved, which means it has a special resonance for a girl rescued from the cold cruelness of a puppy-mill and transported to the paradise of Roxie's world. Sing it, Lucinda, and remember, darlings: You weren't born for nothing either. Peace out.


  1. Anonymous2:11 PM EDT

    Do WANT.

  2. The smoothies are SO DAMNED GOOD that now I want one every morning. And they're filling, too! And what could be better to prepare for Lucinda?

    Way to go, Moose!

  3. Why do I think Lucinda would sneak a shot of vodka into her smoothie? Not a terrible idea, really . . . .

  4. isn't that color luscious? Me, I got some local blueberries at the coop just now. Their color is luscious too!

  5. Sunday night's fruit crisp was blueberries, raspberries, and strawberries -- The color was incredible! Looking forward to purple smoothies soon.

  6. Ordered!? HAHAHAH!

    And thanks for the fucken linke!!!!!!!!!!!!

  7. I love smoothies in the summer...all kinds! But my special addition is cinnamon and peanut or almond butter (tho I know that adds more points;0).

    Thanks for the Lucinda video: saw her live a few years ago, and here she is still fabulous. Love those glasses (and while I am fairly certain she was a slugging vodka when I saw her live at an outdoor concert, in this clip she is clearly opening up a new bottle of water;-)

  8. GlassPen9:12 AM EDT

    Your smoothie recipe really can't be improved upon. If one of the fruits is frozen in advance, you don't need the ice cubes. Frozen strawberries work particularly well. (If more than one fruit is frozen, it can be pretty hard on the blender.) My smoothie this morning was simple...1 banana, a handful of frozen strawberries, plain non-fat yogurt...no chopping required. Salud!

  9. Hi ya'll, i add a bit of flax seed meal to the mix because the seeds stick in my teeth. I hope I am not stating the obvious when I say that Sweet Old World is one of the best records made in the last 20 years. Saw Ms Williams at SXSW on a bill with Willie Nelson. She let out the most amazing string of cuss words when they pulled her off stage after 45 minutes in deference to Mr. Nelson.

  10. June Starr10:08 PM EDT

    I'm making Goose's happy, healthy feelings literal.

    I've been using almond milk, berries, banana and spinach--with some flax and chia seed thrown in. The spinach muddies the color of the berry shakes, but when you throw it into the more tropical bright yellow smoothies, they come out the the most lovely shade of green.

    But whatever the color, I'm committed to the spinach.

  11. June Starr, we've known you for a hundred years and had no idea you were a fan of the chia seed. Or that chia seeds actually existed. If planted, do they grow into chia pets, those plant critters we used to see advertised on late night teevee?

    In any case, these fabulous suggestions -- spinach! almond butter! flax meal! -- make us think, as we often do when we post about food, that we really ought to give in and become food bloggers, because folks just love to talk about food and they always have such wonderful things to say.

    But we would have to blog occasionally about music, because people like to talk about that, too. Lucinda was great the other night, btw, despite heat and humidity so oppressive that Moose kept threatening to remove what little clothing she had worn. She performed the song embedded in this post, "Born to be Loved," and was able to read all of her lyrics without reading glasses. The Moms have loved the fact that Lucinda has openly relied on lyric books for years, being fairly certain that they couldn't get through a concert of their own works without one.

    Oh, and ca78john, we can totally imagine Lucinda would be capable of a world-class hissy fit and cussing streak if someone tried to get her off a stage before she was ready to vacate it. Goose has a funny story involving her brother Bobby, a musician who once arrived late for a gig with Lucinda. Girl called him out, from the stage. He's never quite lived it down, but he still loves her and her music.

  12. Hope you enjoyed Lucinda the other night. I like how she sings with her reading glasses on here, just in case she forgets some of the words!

    I like using frozen fruit in smoothies, so that I don't have to put ice cubes in the mix. Yummmm!

  13. Hey June Starr and all -- June, I think your love for the chia seed is because my hair used to look like a chia pet ;) Love the spinach idea. I told Moose that I felt like Popeye after that first smoothie.

    And Lucinda -- she's truly amazing, and for all of the reasons given here and more. She and I are exactly the same age, and about 15 or so years ago she had asked my bro to play bass for her one fine Saturday evening. He was coming in with his friend Joe Gracey from some gig they'd had up by Lubbock, and they were of course later than is wont, and pulled up outside the hall (I think it was Luckenbach) just in time to hear Lucinda saying, "Bobby Earl Smith, if you're out there, get your ass up here on stage. We'll deal with your tardiness later." He did, and then told me later that she's tougher than his "mean little sister" (aka Goose). He deeply admires her, loved playing with her when he did, and turned us on to Lucinda when he gave us "Sweet Old World," still amazing after all these years.

  14. GlassPen10:21 AM EDT

    @Goose: if your brother Bobby found the hall in Luckenbach (or, Luckenbach itself), he gets full marks for just showing up. The place is like Brigadoon! Most of the times I've been, the road signs have been missing--swiped by souvenir hunters, no doubt--so you jus' kinda hafta know where to look. Always worth the trip, though.


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.