Saturday, July 10, 2010

The Searchers

We love our readers.  You know we do.  But can we say that it creeps us out just a teeny weeny bit that within the past 24 hours folks have landed on this happy little blog through searches on, um,

how to give a dog a handjob,
and how to cook a human baby?!?

Really, kids, I'm thinking perhaps my typist should have installed an irony meter in the sidebar when she was doing our redesign in order to assist the irony-impaired.  Please, darlings, understand that no animals were harmed or inappropriately touched in the making of this joke.  And not one single actual baby was ever cooked in our baby cooker.  Not a one, though there was a snowy Tuesday evening in February when the thought briefly crossed our minds.

Oh, and to the curious among you who periodically show up searching on the phrase, Marissa Coleman lesbian, we don't know, darlings, and if we did we wouldn't tell.  You.

Thank you, and good night.


  1. Fucking sick fucks. Those same fuckbags search for my blog.

  2. And they find it even more often than they find Roxie's World, I'm guessing, CPP!

    What's weird is that the searches for my blog perhaps reveal more about my secret anxieties and preoccupations in RL than what I actually write about the blog. (I'm thinking all of those searches for "hot 40-year old women," "cougars," and "hot athetic women." Or was that you googling away, Roxie?)

    Another weird fact: I've got part of a chapter in my current ms. about cooking human babies! And I wonder if I should put that on my blog, to redirect some of the sicko traffic away from your blog.

  3. @CPP: So many F-bags, and such a small Interweb. No wonder they find us, eh?

    @Historiann: Busted. I knew my IP address would give me away eventually, but you are the hottest 40-something sporty straight chick we know. All those searches lead right to you! Please don't take our sicko traffic away, though. As my typist is fond of saying, a hit's a hit, and her narcissism requires decent stats.

    @Geoffrey: Should a teacher at a prestigious prep school really be making cannibal jokes? We need you to remain gainfully employed so that you can support us in our dotage, you know. And that chubby thigh thing? EEEEEEEEwwww. Just sayin'.

  4. Well, your comments are very flattering, but I should be clear: those search terms are my preoccupations, not necessarily my reality!

    Can't wait to hear about your writing for the blogosphere course, BTW. Will you be posting updates, or reports on discussions or student assignments? (Are you ready to have an entire class of students know about your blog?)

  5. Haven't figured out yet how/whether we will handle the blogging course here on the blog, though the cat, as it were, is already out of the bag with the students -- Moose mentioned this blog in her course description. Stay tuned!

  6. You're gonna teach a fucking course on how to blog!?!?!? You need me to guest lecture!!!!!! I'm a fucking EXPERT!


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