Friday, November 06, 2009

Home Again, Home Again

Sincere apologies to those of you who have been sick with worry about the fate of Moose and the Thinking Woman, who, when last heard from, were still 597 miles from home and in rather frightening proximity to a field of corn. Rest assured they made it safely back to Roxie's World Tuesday evening as scheduled. TW is settling in well, as you can see from the photo below. I think I am going to like having a companion statue. It's fun to hang out with someone whose mobility is even more limited than my own.

Meanwhile, Moose is trying to negotiate a soft landing back in the real world, which seems to have gone bat-$hit crazy in her absence. (That is a professional comment, not a personal one. We will have more to say on the subject soon, if we can figure out a diplomatic way to write about the intensifying crisis of higher ed right here in our own ridiculously large back yard. Meantime, read this, this, and this. Go, students!)

Advice to travelers from Moose on the Loose now Back on the Leash: The world to which you return will not be precisely the one you left. Do not be deceived by appearances. Remember that similarity is not sameness. Time has passed -- changed even -- and contents may have shifted in transit.

Memo to Texas from Moose on the Loose now Back on the Leash: We regret to inform you that the ginormous roadside cross conveniently located on the edge of I40 eastbound on the outskirts of Amarillo, TX (top photo below) is not, contrary to my earlier impression, the most spectacularly ginormous roadside cross on the face of dog's earth. A second view and evidence obtained from my iPhone camera indicates that that honor goes to the remote kingdom of Illinois, which has a super spectacularly ginormous cross (bottom photo below) looming over I70 eastbound on the outskirts of, um, nowhere, dwarfing trees and even the billboard for Denny's. Sorry, Texas, but you have been outdone in the category of Truly Ridiculous Public Displays of Affection (Jesus Division). Better luck next time!

Memo to Drivers from the Division of Highway Safety, RW Enterprises, LLC: Roxie's World does NOT condone the taking of photographs by drivers operating vehicles at high speeds -- unless, of course, the driver is alone and unwilling to stop the vehicle, and the photo is the only way to secure evidence necessary to make a snarky point about unseemly spectacles of religiosity in American culture. Some things are, you know, worth dying for.

All the bitches are back in the pack, kids, and all is right in Roxie's World. A happy weekend to you and yours.


  1. All is right in Roxie's World because all of the bitches are back SAFELY. Mmm, Moose, the Bitch in Chief and I are not sure how we feel about you taking pics at 70+ mph on I40, but those photos ARE great, we must say. And we must say how very overjoyed we are to have you home, and with Thinking Woman, too!!!

    WE LOVE YOU!!!

  2. Somewhere near that Texas cross (and nb the proximate leaning water tower, which is more fun) I have often almost caused the car to swerve when taking pictures of the unfortunately-named Bushland.

    Thinking Woman and Roxie, nestling up together! Of course! They both look very content - and how lovely to have a new picture of Ms R.

  3. Actually, what sticks out to me about these two crosses are their similarities. They're both huge white crosses with similar edging and similar scale.This makes me wonder: is there a company somewhere out there that produces enormous white crosses for highway decoration? And if so, do they make other highway ornaments? Because I'm thinking that a ginormous white frowny face, right before the Mormon temple on 495, would be the coolest thing ever. Or a traffic nightmare. But the truth is we'll never know until we try.

  4. You are right, Laura, about the similarities. We declared the Illinois cross the winner because its closeness to the road just made it look so darned impressive from the car, but I bet they are made by the same company -- probably something like, "Ginormous Jesus"

    As for the Mormon Temple, well, the coolest thing ever was already done years ago, when some clever graffiti artist painted "Surrender Dorothy" on an overpass that you saw heading west right before the temple. The moms would howl with laughter every time they saw it and were devastated when it was removed. For a long time, though, it would come back, a lovely bit of highway pentimento that amused the moms through many a traffic jam.

  5. I'm glad they didn't nail a giant Christ onto this cross! If ever I saw that, I'd think Jesus was resting in preparation for an attack by Godzilla or even Mecha-Streisand.

  6. Speaking of a Christ on the cross, 15 years ago Moose kindly removed the Jesus on the cross from my Georgetown hospital room wall and tucked it into a drawer. The priest came by and was looking for it but he didn't really say anything. Anyway, that's one of the gillion billion reasons I love Moose so much!


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