Sunday, December 21, 2008

The Dark Night

A little solstice treat for my adoring fans, because you've all been so incredibly sweet this year:

Somewhere in the dim recesses of the culinary past of the Moosians, these delightful shortbread holiday cookies had another name, but in the bawdy, chick-centric period of her early dyke-o-lescence, Moose gave them a new name that matched her gyno-sensibility. For some mysterious reason, she started calling her all-time favorite cookie "Boobs." Incredibly, the name stuck, even among the church-going Midwesterners in the family. A few years ago, when the Mother of the Moosians passed along the recipe, she had written across the top of the index card, in her excellent former schoolteacher's hand, "Mom's Boobs," which makes Moose laugh every holiday season when she pulls the recipe out of her file.

We pass the recipe along to you, but we are going to call them "Moose's Boobs," on account of Moose has made some slight adjustments in the recipe (she uses butter rather than margarine) and because, well, frankly, she's just a little creeped out by the idea of inviting you all to partake of her mother's, um, body. Hers? Oh, have at it, kids. And may the darkest night of the year find you warm and happy and surrounded by those you love. Take heart. As the light-loving father of the Moosians used to say on this night, summer's coming! Tomorrow, the days start getting longer! Peace out.

Moose's Boobs

Preheat oven to 400.

1 C. butter
3 T. sugar

1 t. almond extract
2 C. flour
1/2 t. salt

candied cherries, halved

Cream the butter and sugar together. Slowly add flour, salt, and almond extract. Mix together, but don't over-mix.

Form teaspoon-size balls. Place on cookie sheet. Press 1/2 candied cherry on top. (You can also use Hershey's Kisses, but Moose strongly prefers the candied cherries. Use a mix of red and green cherries for a festive-looking presentation on that tacky Christmas-tree platter somebody bought you when they thought there was hope of turning you into a conventional suburbanite.)

Bake for 10-15 minutes, but keep a close eye on them. They burn easily.

Yield: 30-36 cookies


  1. Anonymous5:48 PM EST

    Flapping my wings, I say I am above this sort of thing and must not to be sullied by it – in truth, in terms of celebrating the darkness, it is absolutely liberating to land in the mud! Meanwhile Caroline Kennedy is in the headlines today, supporting gay marriage, regardless of what people like you and I might think! Shocking!
    Thanks for the recipe,
    Happy Solstice Rox,
    ~ ei

  2. Merry Solstice and thanks for the recipe.


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