Thursday, March 10, 2011

Rainy Thursday (Mostly About) Work Rant

(Photo Credit: Via)

Being the Secret Archive of Messages Moose
Absolutely Did Not Write or Send Today

To My Darling Students (43% of Whom Were Absent Today): "Rain" is not a short way of saying "attendance optional." Your teachers think of it as a short way of saying "in-class writing." Just saying.

To the Dunder-Headed Hack No Doubt Well-Intentioned Administrator Who Thought Employees Would Feel Motivated to Complete the Useless and Insulting Convenient and Illuminating Annual Activity Report by Sending Out a Mass E-Mail Publicly Identifying Those Who Had Not Yet Accessed the Online System Six Days Before the Filing Deadline: Srsly, dude. Three years with furloughs and no pay raises, and you think public shaming and calling attention to the mechanisms of surveillance that now characterize every aspect of our work lives will inspire us to get the job done? Dream on, pal. If the freakin' system crashes on deadline day, I will carve my report on a stone tablet and deposit it on your desk by hurling it through your window.

To the Senders of the 956 Other Messages Currently Languishing in My In-Box: Don't hold your breath, darlings. I have become so overwhelmed by the crush of e-mail in the past couple of months that I have basically given up, waved the white flag of e-mail bankruptcy. Is it really important? Call me. Dear Computer Overlords: Please come up with a better way for the slaves of techno-culture to communicate and easier ways for us to store and retrieve information. Thank you.

To the Members of the Maryland House of Delegates Who Are Hemming and Hawing About How They Will Vote on the Marriage Equality Bill on Friday: The feisty old broads of Roxie's World have a message for you (that ran on the front page of the QTU student newspaper this morning!). Read it here, and shame on you if you don't have the guts to get on the right side of history. And shame on you, Gov. Martin "You, Sir, Are No Jack Kennedy" O'Malley if this bill passes and you sign it into law and then stand back and let it go to a referendum in order to "let the people decide." Because, you know, it always works out so well when we subject minority rights to popular votes. Yep, you're a regular Profile in Courage, Gov. Looks to us as if the lesser O'Malley is running our state.

Yours Sincerely,


  1. (1) You guys look fucken awesome in your photo!

    (2) Why the fucke is your student newspaper called Diamondback?? I thought Maryland is the Terrapins??

  2. 1) Thank you. We do our best to smash negative stereotypes about lesbian appearance.

    2) Diamondback terrapins, baby. Read all about 'em right here.

  3. Your engineer boots were out of the frame.

  4. Anonymous1:24 PM EST

    Ooh, I love the second one. I think we have some of the same dunderheads here, and they have the same Big Brother tendencies. Sigh.

  5. Yes, CPP, and I left my flannel shirt in my office during the photo shoot, too.

    Oh, Anon., I am sorry to hear that dunder-headedness has gone viral. Sigh, indeed.


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