Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Leave It to the Moosians

The Mother of All Moosians announced in an e-mail this morning that she, a lifelong registered Republican, will cross over and vote Democratic in today's (open) primary in Indiana at the request of one of her children. She is threatening to wear a disguise to the polls that will include a black wig and red patent leather spike heels. Moose just hopes she can read the ballot through her fake eyelashes. Moose also notes that her message gives no indication of which of the two candidates for anti-Christ -- oops, president -- will get her vote, but she's guessing her mom will go for the girl, because the Mother of All Moosians has broken a glass ceiling or two in her day and has a healthy appreciation for broads with brains, grit, and an endless supply of wrinkle-free pantsuits. Go, Mom!

Meanwhile, down in North Carolina, the newest Democrat among the Moosians heads to the polls to see if she can wrest the Tar Heel State from the grasp of the Precious. Just remember, Big Sissy: A single-digit win for Obama will be a victory for Clinton. Now that you're a Dem, you've got to master a whole new set of talking points, but you're a smart girl, too. We know you can do it.

Indy Star's endorsement of Clinton in the primary is here.

Indy Star's editorial on how cool and incredible it is that the state actually matters in a primary race is here.

Hoosier and Dem political operative Ron Klain has a thoughtful piece on how appropriate it is that the state that calls itself "the crossroads of America" should be playing such a pivotal in the battle between Clinton and Obama here.

Latest RCP averages give Clinton the edge in Indiana and Obama in North Carolina.

Video of one of the worst pop songs ever, which demonstrates Indiana's vital place in the cultural imagination, is here. We'd embed it, but Goose would die from embarrassment. The Official Prep School Teacher of Roxie's World, however, is probably already humming along.

Stay tuned, kids. We'll try to have results and reactions later today!

8 comments:

  1. I am chewing my nails waiting for primary results. Are you chasing your tail yet- cause if I had a tail I would totally be doing that.

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  2. Chasing AND chewing my tail, of course. But those CNN meanies have already called NC for Barry. Damn, I hate that. And we have to hope Hill Rod's margins in IN hold up once the urban counties start rolling in.

    Gnaw, gnaw, gnaw. . . .

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  3. AAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!

    The press did not play this up yet - this would have doused the tail of Comet Barry http://chicagomag.com/Chicago-Magazine/August-2001/No-Regrets/

    Bussie Kissies
    Buster

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  4. CBS has called IN for Hill Rod, but nobody else has. C'mon, Hoosiers! Don't disappoint Moose -- or the Mother of All Moosians. She is one old broad you don't want to tick off, believe me.

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  5. That song is absolutely dreadful in the most remarkable way. Oh, how you know my sweet tooth for such pop music bonbons.

    Oh, and I love that there is an "essential hits" album of R. Dean Taylor. 1971 was a great year, if I do say so myself.

    On a more serious note, I was saddened to hear how close Clinton's victory was in Indiana. Although I'm not giving up hope (I won't let Precious co-opt that word), I'm beginning to reckon with the fact that she needed to win by a wider margin. :(

    The OPSToRW

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  6. Anonymous6:14 PM EDT

    Tim's dashboard message seems kind of nice to me, like someone trying to support his candidate and he doesn't really offend in his language or his points. It's just a different position than yours, right? It seems rather charming to write it in a note on a car--kind of old-school. If a Hillary person wrote me a note like that, I would find it nice--like, wow, strangers can leave each other thoughtful notes in which they engage a discussion of politics. You put your ideas out in a bumper sticker, and then someone responds, politely.

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  7. Anonymous11:07 PM EDT

    I agree with Mandy. I want to write more, but my typist is grading papers. And cussing. (Howcum your typist not grading papers, Roxie? She found new way to do grades? Anything to do with dice or Tarot cards? 'Cause my typist would be interested in any shortcuts....)

    Anyway, my typist did look up from the stack of papers long enough to point out that Tim tried to establish commonality, and bracketed his points between remarks about shared interests. Also, "threat" specifically refers to when someone says THEY will do something negative. A statement of fact or alleged fact ("Dudley, you are baying too loud"; "Riley, that is Dudley's dish") isn't a threat. (I wasn't baying too loud, so that is the alleged fact, just to illustrate.) "Riley, get away from my food or I will show you what a busted eardrum feels like" IS a threat. (Also, it works.) A veiled threat is when a threat is merely implied: "Riley. MY food! You like busted eardrum? Thought not!" (That also works.)

    So we here at the House of Ironical Beagles think Tim was being polite. But we understand that finding a note on the car is unnerving. And we are sorry Goose got trembling hands from reading it.

    To make it not happen again, I will be happy to stand guard over Goose's car with a large bucket of treats and break the eardrum of anyone who tries to leave a note on the car or, more importantly, take some treats. Mostly the latter, but you never know. If Tim comes back and wants to take a dog treat AND leave another note, I'll deal with him! And that's a threat!

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  8. Mandy and Dudley are both, um, wrong. Passive aggression is still, absolutely, aggression, and that is what Tim's rhetoric is in the note left on the windshield. There is nothing "nice" about telling us that our candidate "represents the worst kind of politics." There IS something threatening about suggesting that our support of Hillary Clinton will only help John McCain. There is nothing "polite" about telling someone that the "right thing" is the opposite of that individual's beliefs but that it must be done because. . . because the writer/speaker has decided it is right. Sorry, folks, we disagree.

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