Saturday, July 04, 2009

Palintology (Encore)

(Photo Credit: J. Scott Applewhite/A.P. Images, via Vanity Fair)

Lucky for you, citizens of Roxie’s World, that the madcap moose huntress of Wasilla decided to announce her resignation as governor of Alaska on the eve of the 4th of July. Sarah Palin’s stunning move derailed my typist’s plans for a moody holiday post on the overvaluation of independence in American culture. It would have been full of Deep Thoughts and poignant personal revelations, probably illustrated by copies of family photos she downloaded during her recent visit to her home state of Indiana. Screw that, she thought when she woke up this morning with visions of the long forgotten Sarah dancing once again in her brain. “Goose,” she declared, “you make the potato salad. Roxie and I need to update the Palineologisms, maybe bang out a fresh Palin-ode or two to mark the occasion.” “Aye, aye,” Goose dutifully replied. She makes the finest potato salad in all the land, and she far prefers funny posts to moody ones, so she was more than happy to oblige. Moose grabbed a cup of coffee and the laptop.

PALINOSTOMY!” she shouted moments later. (Okay, technically, it was a couple of hours, but doesn’t that sound better?)


Noun (pl. –mies)
Elective surgery performed to remove a minor irritant on the bowel of the body politic. Generally performed to assure future viability of the organ, though risks of unforeseen complications are high. Patients may require extended period of recovery and rehabilitation.

Origin early 21st century: from failed governor of an obscure American state + Greek stoma ‘mouth.’

Palin-ode III: Dead Fish (for Palinodes I and II, go here)

The quitter’s way would be to stay
And do the job you gave me
But I’ve no wish to swim with dead fish
Perhaps Fox News will save me

Palin-ode IV: Efficiencies

My work is done and there’s no fun
In being just a lame duck
I’m so darn good it’s time to go
So long, voters – Good luck!

Want to make sure you’re locked and loaded for a fiery 4th of July debate on the soon to be ex-governor of Alaska? Here’s your ammo, kids. Click, aim, fire!
  • Vanity Fair has Todd Purdum’s lengthy dish on Palin that some speculate may have fueled her decision to leave office, perhaps because all that trashing by unnamed McCain staffers and Republican insiders made her realize she had no future with the party.
Hope your holiday is swell, patriots. It’s a beautiful day here in Roxie’s World, and we plan to spend it reflecting on the virtues of (in)dependence – by which we mean savoring all that connects us to one another and to you, our legions of loved ones and loyal fans. This day always makes us think of the great democratic bard of New Jersey, Mr. Bruce Springsteen, so we’ll let him sing us out, with a vision of the boardwalk and fireworks and the carnival life we never really left. Take it away, Boss.


  1. Ah Rox, thanks for the big belly laughs this 4th! Your take on that Palin woman just keeps giving and giving. . . .and I of course love this old vid of the democratic Bard of the Boardwalk. Federici in a beard and moustache--I didn't even remember that! And "Dead Fish," "Efficiencies" (or did you mean EFISHencies ;) -- you crack me up, Roxie Roo.

    Thanks for this great carnival ride, Rox. We're definitely on this forever.

  2. Palin' into insignificance? Let's hope! Many many thanks for the wonderful video clip offering 6.56 mins of conference paper writing procrastination (any chance of a potato salad recipe? will share - mine involves yogurt, green chile mustard and - albeit if I can sneak them past Alice - cumin seeds).

    Happy 4th!

  3. Thanks for the laughs, Roxie. It seems there must be something that can be done with the dead fish-angler/angling connection, but I'll leave it to you. We're just waiting for the other shoe to drop--whatever it is (political scandal, pregnancy, national political ambitions, a Fox News show of her own, a career as a stand-up comic [although I'll put my money on Tina Fey in that fight]).
    Happy day to all of you.

  4. I fear that a Palinostomy will not cure the underlying disease in the body politic, and ten others will spring up from where she was extractec. After all, we thought it couldn't get any worse than W.

  5. Actually, per Clio B's comment, once upon a time we thought it didn't get any worse than Reagan, and before that Nixon, and before that Hoover...

    It can always get worse. And I'm afraid that it's going to get a LOT worse.

  6. Please keep cracking us up, Roxy!

  7. I wonder if a Palinostomy will help stave off that nasty Santorum problem?

  8. Yahaha, Geoffrey. . . .

    And Kate, your potato salad sounds yummy, yummy. Yogurt, green chile mustard, cumin seeds--do I need to know more to try it?

    OK, I thought I'd posted mine yesterday, but somehow didn't. Here ya go: enough new, red potatoes boiled to fill up a big bowl (this 4th I used 4.99 lbs); chop them into variously-sized chunks; 2-3 medium-size yellow onions, chopped; 3 hard-boiled eggs, chopped; mayo; regular mustard; tangy, zippy hot/sweet mustard (I used Honeycup uniquely sharp mustard, either regular or stone ground will do); sweet relish. Mix all of that up with salt, and lots of ground pepper, and adjust various ingredients to suit your taste. This makes a slightly spicy, with a hint of sweet potato salad that is still rich with potato taste (take care not to mix those chunks so much that they are in effect mashed potatoes, unless you of course want that), and has suited those with taste buds of all ilks! Lemme know how it turns out.


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