Can This Marriage Be Saved?

(Photo Credit: Lara Porzak; Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi, 8/16/08)

We don't often blog on demand here in Roxie's World, valuing our independence as we do, but when Roving Reporter and BFF June Star phones in the middle of the week imploring us to post on something -- and promising to promote the post throughout the densely populated Garden State -- well, we listen. Besides, she wants us to help save same-sex marriage in California, which is on the ballot in November and is losing support in recent polls, so we've decided to mobilize my legions of loyal fans to help turn the tide. C'mon, people -- It's time to point, click, cough up some dough, and help assure that Ellen and Portia don't have to return that snazzy Crock-Pot they just unpacked.

Here's where you go to give, unless you'd rather go here. Both groups are trying to get ads on the air, so take your pick. Why should you be willing to part with some of your precious shekels in the midst of a presidential campaign and a global financial meltdown that has probably reduced your net worth by 50% in the time it has taken you to read this post? Why, indeed, especially if you are, say, in a committed heterosexual relationship on the other side of the country or in a committed queer relationship but sick and bloody tired of all the time, energy, and money the struggle for marriage equality has absorbed in the past few years?

Look, we know times are tough and you're all way too cool to succumb to the wedding-bell blues, but here are Five Excellent Reasons You Should Contribute to the Cause of Saving Same-Sex Marriage in California:

1. Because it will piss off the Mormons, who are spending huge sums of money in support of the ballot measure that would overturn same-sex marriage.

2. Because Brangelina can't do it all by themselves. Itselves. Wev. Pitch in.

3. Because Obama is already outspending McCain 3 to 1 on television advertising as the campaign moves into its final weeks. How much does he not need your money? Dude is outspending the Wild Bunch in Moose's home state of Indiana, which hasn't gone Democratic in a presidential election since 1964. Polls give McCain a slight edge, but it's a freaking miracle that the state is in play. Even the most Obamaniacal among you can relax and shake loose a couple of bucks for other good causes.

4. Because the bicoastal arrogance that gives coherence and meaning to the myth of progressive politics in this nation requires that at least two states situated on opposite sides of the country offer a haven for sexual deviants who wish to commit to stable, long-term perversion opportunities. In the privacy of their well-appointed homes.

5. Because you are a fighter for justice, and the very idea that a right finally achieved could be taken away offends you to the core of your precious soul. You are sick and tired of LGBT rights being subject to popular votes and losing. You long to strike a blow against the meanies, zealots, and hypocrites determined to write their narrow sexual code into law and impose it on consenting adults whose morality differs from their own.

That's way more than five reasons and they are all really, really good, so what are you waiting for? Click here, or click here. Don't do it because June Star and I told you to. Do it because you know it's the right thing to do. Do it because you forgot to get Ellen and Portia a wedding present. Do it because you would like to honor the memory of Del Martin and protect the widowhood of Phyllis Lyon. It doesn't really matter why, kids. Just do it.

Peace out, and here's a vid of one of the No on 8 ads: