Tuesday, June 30, 2009

If It Quacks Like a Duck

Two minutes and twenty seconds into the president's remarks yesterday at the Big Gay Token Gesture held at the White House, a distinct quacking sound interrupted the dulcet tones of the Smooth Talker in Chief. Moose's first thought, when she watched the tape this morning through the miracle of a poached wireless signal in the remote kingdom of Indiana, was, and I quote,

How the hell did Goose get into the White House?

Yes, kids, it's true. Goose has a quacking ring tone on her iPhone. Moose, because I know you are dying to know, has, of course, a barking ring tone, but she was nowhere near the White House yesterday. No, she was very, very, very far away from the White House, but we're not here to discuss her fraught relationship with her native land, her life. We are here to talk about the silver-tongued president's fraught relationship with the LGBT community, which is not likely to become any less fraught anytime soon if Lt. Dan Choi is discharged from the military today under Don't Ask, Don't Tell, a policy Obama has said he is against but hasn't lifted a finger to rescind since taking office 162 days ago.

Anyway, as it turns out, Goose was nowhere near the White House yesterday either, but we are still guffawing with delight at the irony of duck sounds being heard on Pennsylvania Ave. for the first time since Darth Cheney and his hunting rifle left the neighborhood. Who would have thought that the most progressive president in American history would turn out to be such a squeamish footdragger on LGBT issues? Um, well, we did, but you know that already. Who would have thought the self-proclaimed Fierce Advocate would bring out the Kevlar and the hip boots before wading into the cootie-infested waters of equality for the nation's sexual minorities? Yep, we did. Here's a Wa Po quote that nicely conveys what a profile in courage Obama has proven to be vis-a-vis America's tough girls and pretty boys:
The administration has been attempting to tread cautiously with the gay community. While it says it intends to follow through on Obama's campaign pledges, it is also eager to avoid the appearance that the president is giving in to any one group's demands.
Quack, quack, quack, Mr. President. At some point, if you are going to talk like a duck, you might as well start walking like one. Otherwise, you'll be a sitting duck come the re-elect, and the hard-working queers of Roxie's World won't lift a feather to help you.

Watch the vid of the president's remarks, kids. Again, the duck quacks at 2:20. Towleroad has a transcript and the guest list for the event here.

Moose comes home tomorrow to be tenderly reunited with her living dog and her partner in the crime of queer delight for more than a quarter of a fricking century. Hooray! We'll be back to regular blogalicious programming soon, darlings. Meantime, remember: Stone walls don't come by themselves. Get out your picks, your shovels, and your climbing boots. Honor the past by working like hell to change the present. Peace out.


  1. I am so naive. The realization has just dawned on me that this cowardice on the part of the administration has very little to do with political games -- of finding a "middle ground" or whatever -- and everything to do with the reality that Obama is a big ole homophobe. He should be embarassed. Heck, I'm embarassed for him.

  2. Yes, he should be embarrassed, CB! If you read his interview with The Advocate (April 2008), you'll see that he's indeed homophobic (of the "some of my best friends are" ilk, only in that interview it's "once I had a professor who was out"). I've felt embarrassed for him since reading that interview. . . .

    Great post, Rox. It's true that he'd better start walking like a duck on his promises to the queer community and to others or he'll be a big ole sitting on come 2012.

    Always your loudest quacker,

  3. Maybe you were just being HOPE-ful, Clio. We cannot imagine you being naive.

  4. The sex/gender status quo works just fine for Obama--but don't feel bad, Clio B. There were only a few of us old dogs and crazy cowgirls pointing this out last year, and we have the scars to prove it. At least we don't have any HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE CLINTONS in elective office any longer! Isn't that worth ignoring the constitutional rights of 10% of the U.S. population? (Come on Moose and Goose--where's your civic spirit?)

    Live on, Roxie! Live on! Live I say--damn you, LIVE!!!

  5. There was a Post article a few days ago that identified Rahm Emanuel as the inspiration for Obama's Ferragamo dragging. The reason? Clinton took on too many socially liberal issues in his presidency, which caused the Republican Revolution of 1994. Slippery slope? Logical fallacy? Two left feet?


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