If It Quacks Like a Duck

Two minutes and twenty seconds into the president's remarks yesterday at the Big Gay Token Gesture held at the White House, a distinct quacking sound interrupted the dulcet tones of the Smooth Talker in Chief. Moose's first thought, when she watched the tape this morning through the miracle of a poached wireless signal in the remote kingdom of Indiana, was, and I quote,

How the hell did Goose get into the White House?

Yes, kids, it's true. Goose has a quacking ring tone on her iPhone. Moose, because I know you are dying to know, has, of course, a barking ring tone, but she was nowhere near the White House yesterday. No, she was very, very, very far away from the White House, but we're not here to discuss her fraught relationship with her native land, her life. We are here to talk about the silver-tongued president's fraught relationship with the LGBT community, which is not likely to become any less fraught anytime soon if Lt. Dan Choi is discharged from the military today under Don't Ask, Don't Tell, a policy Obama has said he is against but hasn't lifted a finger to rescind since taking office 162 days ago.

Anyway, as it turns out, Goose was nowhere near the White House yesterday either, but we are still guffawing with delight at the irony of duck sounds being heard on Pennsylvania Ave. for the first time since Darth Cheney and his hunting rifle left the neighborhood. Who would have thought that the most progressive president in American history would turn out to be such a squeamish footdragger on LGBT issues? Um, well, we did, but you know that already. Who would have thought the self-proclaimed Fierce Advocate would bring out the Kevlar and the hip boots before wading into the cootie-infested waters of equality for the nation's sexual minorities? Yep, we did. Here's a Wa Po quote that nicely conveys what a profile in courage Obama has proven to be vis-a-vis America's tough girls and pretty boys:

The administration has been attempting to tread cautiously with the gay community. While it says it intends to follow through on Obama's campaign pledges, it is also eager to avoid the appearance that the president is giving in to any one group's demands.

Quack, quack, quack, Mr. President. At some point, if you are going to talk like a duck, you might as well start walking like one. Otherwise, you'll be a sitting duck come the re-elect, and the hard-working queers of Roxie's World won't lift a feather to help you.

Watch the vid of the president's remarks, kids. Again, the duck quacks at 2:20. Towleroad has a transcript and the guest list for the event here.



Moose comes home tomorrow to be tenderly reunited with her living dog and her partner in the crime of queer delight for more than a quarter of a fricking century. Hooray! We'll be back to regular blogalicious programming soon, darlings. Meantime, remember: Stone walls don't come by themselves. Get out your picks, your shovels, and your climbing boots. Honor the past by working like hell to change the present. Peace out.