Saturday, January 24, 2009

Read My Fist

Perhaps the most extraordinary news to emerge in this extraordinary week in the shiny new place called America is that Barack and Michelle Obama have brought lesbian sex practices into the White House! Seriously, kids -- It was on Fox, so it must be true! Watch this vid, picked up by way of Shakesville (with a helpful reminder from the Official Prep School Teacher of Roxie's World):

Moose's sly response to the hottest news from Pennsylvania Avenue since Bill put out his cigar? "I'm really starting to like this Obama fella! Who knew we had so much in common?"

Of course, we suppose it's possible that the Fox "sex expert" was referring to the infamous fist bump (or "terrorist fist jab") the Obamas publicly indulged in last summer, but the logic of her statement implies a continuum of sexual intimacy that begins with touching and moves through kissing to fis --

Attention: The Division of Standards and Practices of Roxie's World interrupts this post to prevent a violation of the family-friendly ethic of this blog. The typist will be severely sanctioned for her unconscionable indulgence in a fantasy of randy presidential sexuality. We apologize to our readers, who expect better of us. To purify the air of this happy place, we conclude with a sugary sweet video of the Bush sisters giving advice to the Obama daughters about growing up in the White House. No kidding -- It's actually kinda touching, even if it is mostly a ploy to win sympathy for their dad and start the long, impossible project of trying to rehabilitate his image. Good luck with that, twins, but props to you for warmly welcoming the Obama girls to the small, strange club of presidential kids:

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