Thursday, November 15, 2007

Bitches, Unite!

Why is Roxie's World issuing a clarion call for bitches to unite? (Don't feel left out of the call, fellas -- Some of the biggest bitches I know are boys. You know who you are, and you know how much I love you and your raging bitchiness.) Moose is back on duty in the red chair and has been gathering the evidence for this Thursday night theme party. Just to prove she hasn't gone rusty in the research department, she tracked down an embeddable version of the John McCain campaign event in South Carolina on Monday in which a female supporter asked, "How do we beat the bitch?" Now you can watch it without leaving the happy confines of Roxie's World:


Don't you just love how Republicans go about the sacred task of restoring honor and dignity to the White House? Don't you admire the steadfastness of their commitments to country-club fashion hits of the 1970s? I mean, someone needs to stand by ponytails, scarves, and gold hoop earrings, don't you agree? Not to mention tans in November and bottle-blond hair. Aren't we glad Republicans will fight to the death to defend those? You tell me what you think of McCain's response to the question. By my bleary old eyes, he pauses with what might generously be described as a pained expression on his face (but doesn't McCain always have a pained expression on his face?) before joining in the laughter and then declaring it an "excellent question." He then cites polling data suggesting he is best positioned to "beat the bitch" before offering a perfunctory declaration of respect for Senator Clinton. His campaign has disingenuously claimed he "first responded" by stating his respect for the senator, as pointed out yesterday in Talking Points Memo.

Even New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd, a bitch-hating bitch if ever there was one, seems a little put out with the War on Bitches this week. Her Wednesday column ran under the plaintive headline, "Should Hillary Pretend to Be a Flight Attendant?" Mo Do is upset with a spate of new studies suggesting that bias against intelligent, ambitious women is alive and well, both in the world of hetero dating as well as in the work place. Turns out the moms' moms were right when they told their daughters boys would be scared off by girls who came across as "too" smart or ambitious. (The moms' moms neglected to mention that at least some girls find smart girls a turn-on, but, lucky for me, they managed to figure that out by themselves.) Not surprisingly, the unreflective single gal Mo Do doesn't seem to have noticed that her own relentless and catty attacks on Clinton are part of the problem she laments, but, hey, maybe she'll figure it out over the next lonely Cosmopolitan she sips while watching reruns of Sex and the City.

Next, we turn to global uber-bitch, Benazir Bhutto, who was released today from her second house arrest since returning home to Pakistan last month. (Memo to John McCain: If you can't beat the bitch, arrest her ass!) The Bhutto Death Watch continues here in Roxie's World, though we know y'all know that means we are just in awe of this bitch's bravery. Bhutto had an Op-Ed piece in Wa Po yesterday calling on Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf to resign.

Finally, we call upon the mighty bitches of Roxie's World to respond to an outrage against bitch power that is roiling the world of . . . competitive bridge.

(Photo Credit: swangames.com)

These four bitchin' babes -- Jill Levin, Jill Meyers, Debbie Rosenberg and Irina Levitina -- represented the United States in the world bridge championships last month in Shanghai. Click on the image so you can read the little sign Rosenberg is holding up declaring, "We did not vote for Bush." The sign has provoked an absolute kerfuffle in bridge circles. (I know, I know, kids -- You didn't know there were bridge circles, did you, and that they were as politically charged as the more rarefied circles you travel in at, say, your gym?) The Times reports the sordid details of the drama here. The women face the prospect of a yearlong ban from competition for their protest, which they insist was spontaneous and aimed at expressing solidarity with international friends in the competition who had raised questions about U.S. policies and actions. We're pleased to report that the French team has expressed support for the Americans in fine bitch fashion. According to the Times, the French sent an e-mail to the federation's board and others saying:
By trying to address these issues in a nonviolent, nonthreatening and lighthearted manner . . . you were doing only what women of the world have always tried to do when opposing the folly of men who have lost their perspective of reality.
To which Roxie's World can only reply: PAWS UP, and cut the cards. Wait -- Do they do that in bridge? Never mind, kids. The point stands: Bitches of all ages, sexes, and breeds are under assault. We've got to stick together to fight the meanies and the misogynists, the warmongers and the chick-haters. Are you with me, kids? Can we deal you in?

(Props to the blogosphere's original bitch, BitchPhd, whose post on the McCain event put us onto this theme.)

Still trying to wrap your mind around the saga of the Bridge Bitches? Keith Olbermann interviewed a couple of them on tonight's show. Vid is here.

8 comments:

  1. 'how do we beat the bitch?'
    t-shirts, hats, stickers, mugs, buttons, magnets, and more are now available at:


    ****** dirtyword.net ******

    it's the new anti-hillary conservative catch phrase!

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  2. Our brand new Task Force on Censorship and (Commercial-) Free Speech has decided to leave the previous comment up so that my legions of loyal fans can see that the vast right-wing conspiracy is mobilizing to "beat the bitch" with merchandise. Me? I'm looking for the intrepid progressive who will start selling "I'm Voting for the Bitch" shirts. Coffee mug, anyone?

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  3. Gosh --

    Are you sure we have it right?

    Surely "Beat the bitch" refers to our proper response to global academic restructuring, does it not?

    Or, as a grp of lady queers said at City Lights of China last weekend, an alternate phrasing:

    "Seize the bitch!"

    Katie

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  4. Dudley the beagle6:15 PM EST

    Great post, Roxie! There seems to be some confusion among the Republicans about the difference between beating A bitch and beating THE bitch.

    As not all your readers have had the benefit of living in a multidog pack, maybe this old beagle can help by filling everyone in.

    You beat a bitch same as you beat a dog. (For those unaware of terminology, a dog is a male bitch and vice versa.) The two of you growl at each other, and the lower-ranking one will back off. If it's not you, you just won. Congratulations, 'n everything. I have outranked both dogs and bitches in my time and been outranked by both.

    THE bitch? Listen, young fools, nobody beats THE bitch! Whether you be dog or bitch, don't even think about growling--just back away from the food bowl and find a place to sleep where you won't be getting in her way.

    It's a simple matter of pack rank. (What ARE they teaching the pups these days?)

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  5. RutgersAlumna5:36 PM EST

    Rick Lazio was Hillary's opponent in her first Senate race in New York (Guiliani had dropped out). Lazio had been promoting himself by telling people that there was just thing they needed to know in order to vote for him -- just one thing, he said, I AM RUNNING AGAINST HILLARY CLINTON! During her first debate with Lazio, Hillary said she would give the audience a better reason to vote for her and listed point, by point, by point, by point, by point, by point, the things she wanted to achieve for the State of New York.

    Lazio lost in a landslide, in no small part because he ran an anti-Hillary campaign. McCain has allowed himself to slip into the same trap. The most important issue before the world today is CLIMATE CHANGE!!

    To take the steps necessary to transition to a clean and renewable energy future, Hillary will urge all of the nation's stakeholders to contribute to the effort. Automakers will be asked to make more efficient vehicles; oil and energy companies to invest in cleaner, renewable technologies; utilities to ramp up use of renewables and modernize the grid; coal companies to implement clean coal technology; government to establish a cap and trade carbon emissions system and renew its leadership in energy efficient buildings and services; individuals to conserve energy and utilize efficient light bulbs and appliances in their homes; and industry to build energy efficient homes and buildings.

    Hillary's plan to promote energy independence, address global warming, and transform our economy includes:

    * A new cap-and-trade program that auctions 100 percent of permits alongside investments to move us on the path towards energy independence;
    * An aggressive comprehensive energy efficiency agenda to reduce electricity consumption 20 percent from projected levels by 2020 by changing the way utilities do business, catalyzing a green building industry, enacting strict appliance efficiency standards, and phasing out incandescent light bulbs;
    * A $50 billion Strategic Energy Fund, paid for in part by oil companies, to fund investments in alternative energy. The SEF will finance one-third of the $150 billon ten-year investment in a new energy future contained in this plan;
    * Doubling of federal investment in basic energy research, including funding for an ARPA-E, a new research agency modeled on the successful Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency
    * Aggressive action to transition our economy toward renewable energy sources, with renewables generating 25 percent of electricity by 2025 and with 60 billion gallons of home-grown biofuels available for cars and trucks by 2030;
    * 10 "Smart Grid City" partnerships to prove the advanced capabilities of smart grid and other advanced demand-reduction technologies, as well as new investment in plug-in hybrid vehicle technologies;
    * An increase in fuel efficiency standards to 55 miles per gallon by 2030, and $20 billion of "Green Vehicle Bonds" to help U.S. automakers retool their plants to meet the standards;
    * A plan to catalyze a thriving green building industry by investing in green collar jobs and helping to modernize and retrofit 20 million low-income homes to make them more energy efficient;
    * A new "Connie Mae" program to make it easier for low and middle-income Americans to buy green homes and invest in green home improvements;
    * A requirement that all publicly traded companies report financial risks due to climate change in annual reports filed with the Securities and Exchange Commission; and
    * Creation of a "National Energy Council" within the White House to ensure implementation of the plan across the Executive Branch.
    * A requirement that all federal buildings designed after January 20, 2009 will be zero emissions buildings.

    ---
    RutgersAlumna

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  6. As someone who's consistently disappointed by the passivity and timidity of the female graduate students at her university, I appreciate this post very much.

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  7. Hm-m-m-m, Sarah. Perhaps it's time for Moose and Goose to offer a "Finding Your Inner Bitch" workshop over there in College Park. I'll put that on their Paw Pilots.

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  8. Please do--I have several friends who'd be interested!

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